Monday, December 10, 2012

I've Said It Once, and I'll Say It Again

The man I married loves sandwiches......probably more than anyone has ever loved any kind of food in their entire lives.
Allow me to be more clear by transcribing our pillow talk one night this week:

Me: If someone offered you a million dollars, but to take it meant you could never eat a sandwich in ANY form EVER again, would you make the deal?

Pat: Well......Whew..........(takes a deep breath in contemplation)......It's not like someone would always be watching me......

Me: That's not the deal. You could NEVER have another sandwich anywhere, in any form, no matter what, no matter if anyone is watching you or not.

Pat: Well......Hmmmm.......Yeah.......I guess I would take the money. I'd just eat a lot of pizza and hamburgers instead. (Pauses)........Is a hamburger considered a sandwich?

Me: If it's between two pieces of bread, it's off limits.

Pat: Man.......(Sigh) What about a chicken sandwich? Could I have a chicken sandwich?

Me: You mean a chicken SANDWICH?!?!? (Throws arms up for emphasis) Are you being serious right now?? No!!!!

Pat: Oh crap. I got so focused on hamburgers, I forgot we were talking about sandwiches!

Me: We just established a hamburger IS a sandwich!

Pat: Are wraps off limits?

Then we both laughed hysterically about just how ridiculous the entire last 3.5 minutes of our lives had become.

And two days later, he sent me this text message: Was in the elevator. This guy asked Mirna bout her baby and how old. She said 14 months. He said oh ok, almost 2. Left me scratching me head.
(Oops....not that one; that's off the subject.)
.....This message: Watering mouth. I want a huge mouth burger. I don't think I could give up sandwiches. I would take a sandwich over a steak.
See what I mean, Jelly Bean? (I've always hated Jelly Beans, by the way.)

Is there any one object in the world you wouldn't give up for a million dollars?


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