Sunday, August 28, 2011

Tragedy or Comedy??? I think Comedy.

     While driving through Belton the other day, I witnessed people tailgating in a cemetery to watch, what I later found out, was an airplane show. Here I am, driving all slow, trying to be respectful thinking that someone must have died..........and they were just tailgating!!!! That may be one of the more startling things I've ever seen. I just haven't decided if that is okay or not. It has been reported that people are camping overnight outside In and Out burger and waiting in line up to 2 hours for a taste of the new-to-north-central-Texas fast food joint. The truth of the matter is, they could have just taken a 3 hour flight to LA and got one in a jiffy, no wait, by an established joint. Everyone knows when a new food place first opens it isn't as good. Or they could've just gone to McDonalds and ate a Big Mac, since that's what I think it tastes like. I wonder how they will react when Trader Jo's comes to town?!?! While on the subject of silly people, I might as well mention this. Did you know that I'm half retarded? I must be to have watched the Twilight movies out of order. It all makes sense now why it didn't make sense!
    So yesterday I ventured out to that big giant super store we all know as Wally World in the middle of a rain storm, with a mission to get the ingredients for Patrick’s dinner request. The only positive thing about braving the task of unloading groceries in the pouring rain is the comfort in knowing few others are that desperate, which means no lines! While there, I noticed Wal-Mart posted these new signs at the cashier's registers that say, "If you can’t give me a 10, what can I do better?? Please let me know."  Move faster; that's what you can do! I'd actually almost rather someone be rude to me and get the job done extremely quickly than chit-chat and lollygag like we both have all day. A couple of weeks ago, I almost lost my cool as I watched the cashier stand there and talk to the people in front of me stopping to use her hands.....several times......instead of ringing up the groceries. (If you are not mute, you don't need to use sign language, especially not if you're a cashier.) I was actually pacing in frustration. After she caught me giving her the stink eye, I switched lanes to the self check out. Not to mention that it aggravates me that there's no Carnation Instant Breakfast to be found. Of all the stores, I can't locate it anywhere up here. I guess I'm just going to have to order it online. It's my life-saving breakfast/treat in the morning when I get off work.

Instant breakfast......Where are you?!?!?
      It was a nice fantasy not working for a week, but it's back to the real world today. I went out with a bang last night and gave Patrick a brand-spanking-new hair cut and made him a dinner of his choice (homemade triple battered chicken strips with gravy, garlic sour cream mashed red potatoes, fresh corn on the cob and croissant rolls). He dubbed it pig-out-night and almost made himself sick on it all, while we watched the last few left on Survivor almost starve to death.
     Anyone still watching American Idol? Though he provides no useful input for the contestants, I love to hear the crazy language that Steven Tyler springs on America every week. "You made Gaga's ya ya go la la", he said to Scotty, the country kid on American Idol last night. {I think I want to read his book, just out of curiosity; I'll have to add it to my list along with Chelsea Handler and Jenny McCartney's books.} On the subject of Lady GaGa, that woman never wears any pants. I guess if I had legs like hers I might not either, which reminds me of something funny that happened last weekend. Anyone that knows me well is aware of the fact that I am my Nana's granddaughter, and other than for fashion purposes, I hate being bound by material. That being said, I especially hate it when I'm getting ready. My sister-in-law's friend learned a little more about that side of me on Saturday. There I was in my birthday suit blow-drying my hair, when from the corner of my eye I see someone walk in the bedroom and then walk right back out as quickly as they came, shutting the door behind them. Thinking it was my mother-in-law, I finished what I was doing, put on some clothes and came out to ask her what she wanted, exclaiming with a giggle, "You already saw me in all my glory, you might as well stayed and told me what you needed/wanted!" At that very moment, Meredith quickly interrupts, apologizing and with a bit of embarrassment in her voice says "It was me, it was me! I'm so sorry! I guess if I had a butt like that I'd walk around naked all the time too!" To that, we all laughed hysterically. Thanks for the compliment Meredith. I suppose we all feel that way about someone. I'll try to remind myself of that the next time I'm not feeling too hot in my bathing suit!
     At 10pm, as I was gathering myself, preparing to get cozy in the bed with my love, I soon realized my ice packs from the night before had leaked out all over the bed....under the comforter, on my elevation pillow, all over the sheets, soaking the mattress.....and on Patrick's side of course! There are no pictures to document the unfortunate mishap in fear that someone might one day use it as false evidence (it could have appeared as someone wet the bed). If I hadn't been so lazy and put icepacks away earlier in the day, like I should have, I would have noticed in time, or it might not have happened at all. But instead, I had to sit there and dry the mattress with the hair dryer and then change the sheets, leaving myself no other option for reaction other than to laugh at the thought that my life could often be featured as a sitcom. Yes, definitely comedy over tragedy. (referenced from Stranger than Fiction)

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