Monday, October 1, 2012

Throaty Feelings

I got to start running again, and it's been extremely difficult. It's amazing how long it takes to develop endurance compared to the rate at which you lose it. I'm not usually the kind of person who wishes time away, but sometimes I'm tempted. Knowing as with most things, it's surviving the struggle that develops one's appreciation and character, I'm going to keep on trucking with a smile on my face. 
Sure, I've posted lots of ridiculous things and shared good times over the last couple of weeks, but that only means I still know how to enjoy life amiss any situation. It also says a lot of the amazing support system I'm surrounded by.
I'd be lying if I said at least once a day I'm not an emotional wreck on the inside.  But I manage to keep it together on the outside, most of the time.
I'd be stretching the truth beyond limits if I said I didn't hold back tears several times a week at work. Between the toll of long hours, questions from those who haven't heard of the loss, and watching other family's joy as they welcome a new life into the world, my emotions wear thin. 
And I'd be telling a tall tale if I said I could think about it, dream about it, talk about it, or hear a sad song, and not wish I had a pair of sunglasses to hide the wet sheen in my eyes, or a lozenge to soothe the tight achy feeling in my throat. 
But luckily I have many blessings to keep me occupied, and genuine people to make me smile. 
Oh, and I got to drive this hugh-mung-ously over-sized truck of my mom's (Which totally made me feel badass; the three mirrors and extension for a side view confirms that I'm not exaggerating.), to go see my good friend Vanaynay, hang out with her super cute family, and play with sweet little 5 week old Piper. 
While I was pulling out of the drive-way:
"Don't run over any curbs!!!
Don't speed!!
Watch the blind spots when you back up!!
Be home by ten!!"
Sure Mom, sure. And I'll wear my seat-belt and wash my hands after I go to the bathroom and not eat any sweets after I brush my teeth tonight. By the way, I ran over every curb I saw (just for fun), flattened a shrub and a mailbox while backing up (also just for fun), and went 80-95 mph on the way home (just to see if I could balance the truck on 2 wheels while rounding curves of the road).......good thing I slowed down just in time to see that cop hanging out in the church parking lot by your house!

 Does your mom ever forget that you've been driving for over a decade?


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