Monday, January 30, 2012

I'm Setting New Records.

     If you like to accessorize as much as I do, I'm confident you'll love this video. Scarfs, to me, are something pretty that can simply change an outfit, while keeping my neck cozy at the same time, which makes them the bomb diggity. When I watched this video it made me feel like a total Do Do Bird for not thinking of all these simple techniques myself.......and then I realized.......OMG.....I am a Do Do Bird in the most literal of senses. 

     I have my reasons; I really do. Here is a list of all the retarded stunts I'm guilty of committing within the last month. (These are only the ones I can recall off the top of my head, or am aware of....I'm sure there's many more.) Actually, I have a short term memory, so 4 of the 5 examples below are things that occurred just last week. 

     I wore my pants backwards for the first 2 hours of the day. The good news is the only people that saw me are everyone at my work, and everyone at the gym. I didn't realize the pressing issue until I tried to put something in my pocket and met resistance, due to the fact that the pockets were pointing toward my butt. 

     I feel asleep during a massage and woke up starring at the puddle of drool collecting on the carpet. (I hope the therapist didn't see.) If that wasn't embarrassing enough, the next time I went back, I was struggling with sinus issues and woke myself up with an abrupt snore. (The therapist never said a word.) Now I'm debating with the thought that either it happens all the time so they think nothing of it (like patients farting by accident in front of their nurses when getting out of bed), OR they have a drawing-pot in the office of who gets the girl that always does something mortifying during her massage {me}. 
     That guy I live with, or probably me...who knows, didn't close the freezer door all the way, so now it looks like a winter storm rampaged our frozen section! The sad part is, I was kind of happy about it, because it's one of the only times a year I get to see anything resembling a snow flake or icicle. 

     I scheduled at Doctor's appointment for 3:00 pm in the middle of a three night stretch at work. When I went to sleep that morning I thought I set my alarm clock for 2:00 pm, but as it turns out, I set it for 2:59 pm. Needless to say, I was late......and lucky that the doctor even saw me......oops.  

     I left my purse hanging on a chair in a restaurant. Just straight up left it there. Thank goodness we live in a honest community and a girl came running out after me in the parking lot, almost scaring me half to death, with my purse in hand. Otherwise, I might be too broke to write on this free blog. 
     It's a good thing I have the internet to make me smarter! A friend of mine found a tip on Pinterest that said, if you put your chives in a glass of water by the sun after you've used them, they will grow back. Despite my skeptics, I tried it, but put mine in a mason jar {for looks} with river rocks in the bottom {so the devil cat Lucifer wouldn't knock if off the window seal as easily}. These little babies are growing like weeds. I can't even eat them fast enough. Look at the roots sprouting! (And for the record, I have the furthest thing from a green thumb. You could call it {my thumb}black to be precise; see my fake iron flowers in the garden out front? They're there for a reason.)

What's the last random act of dumbness you committed?

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