Monday, August 27, 2012

It's Getting Real: 9 Weeks

Our mini-us is the size of an olive this week and forming muscles to practice it's acrobatic workouts for the next several months....and oh is it taking it's toll on my body!
I always thought being pregnant would be awesome, because I didn't have to face Aunt Flow for 9 whole months or more.....but up until this point I might as well had been facing her every day, and the only evidence I had to feel legitimately pregnant would be:

1. Fighting extreme exhaustion every minute of every day no matter how much rest, to the point that it doesn't even make sense how tired I feel.  I took a nap every day on vacation, and almost died when I had to go back to work for 4, 12hr days, in a row, with no naps!!!! The best analogy I can compare it to, would be to run a half marathon and then have someone inject you with a low dose of Vecuronium (a paralytic)....not enough to make you stop breathing like Michael Jackson did after taking Propofol to sleep (which is a short acting sedative), but enough to for your body to feel 200X heavier and supremely sluggish.
2. Speaking of supreme, I would like a supreme croissant from Jack in the Box, right this minute. Which brings us to my next symptom. Hello nausea, extra saliva, and weird countless food aversions that I never used to have. I have become a carb-a-tarian, since I spend every day just swallowing to keep the vomit down and simple starches seem to be the only thing I can stomach. I've had more Ramen noodles with cheese and crackers in the last few weeks than I have since I was 21 and spent half my days hung over. I crave candy, and despise the smell of meat now, take Phenergan at night and Zofran, Prevacid, and Colace during the day, just to function; that doesn't include my vitamins.....Just call me Peggy-the-pill-popper
3. Yes. That's what I feel like. Hung over. Every day. 
4. Does anyone else feel the need to rest their chin on the side of a glass of cold water and just bath their tongue in it? I can't seem to drink enough water before my mouth tricks my body into thinking I just walked through the Sierra Desert. I'm so thirsty, and my heart only has eyes for agua!!!
5. Did I mention it's really hard to feel completely rested when I'm already waking up 4 times a night to pee? Never in a million years did I ever fathom this pregnancy symptom had such an early onset.
6. I feel and look bloated all the time. 
7. If anything graces my extra tender nipples, I have to hold back a yelp. 
8. HELLO increased blood supply to fun places....some of you ladies know what I'm talking about. 
9.  I now am possibly the maker of the stinkiest human made methane this world has to offer. I apologize. 
10. Speaking of stinky, I can smell everything, and most all of it stinks. Too strong, too many aromas mixed together, especially at work. I don't know how dogs do it. It all makes me gag...and I NEVER gag on anything.
11. It's like going through the puberty I never had. And by that I mean, I have at least 3-6 new pimples on my face every day!!! I hear the stronger your body's response to the hormones, the better your pregnancy is going....and based on that assumption, mine must be going amazingly well....But my face?!?!? Can't I at least keep my face???
It's just as well. I hate everything about the month of August anyway, so it's not like I'd be in hog heaven under different circumstances. I just keep telling myself that next month is going to be better. I know it will. Oh ya, and it's all totally worth it; this is what we've been praying for. 


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