Tuesday, March 27, 2012

One Flipping Disaster After Another: Clipper and Penile Malfunction

Part I
Lesson: Never under estimate the power of a makeover, and keep lube in handy.

I took the puppies to get their summer cuts. I told the groomer "short", and when I came back I barely recognized my dogs!!! It was a neccassary action, since the day before I tried to cut Sumo's hair with our clippers and failed miserably.
You see, the clippers haven't been oiled in about 2 years, since Callie got her death clench on the oil bottle and chewed it to pieces. If you're wondering why I haven't purchase any oil sense then, I have absolutely no good explanation. Therefore Sumo's baby-duckling-down-fine-hairs were getting yanked left and right.......he objected. So I stopped, leaving him with long scruffy hair everywhere..........except for a large bald patch on his left back, and a long bald strip on his right back.
Way to go, me.
Their before picture

I promised Patrick, he {Sumo} wouldn't look, or smell, like a scroungy step child for long, and woke up the next day to call about 20 different groomers and heard the same broken record from all of them, "Sorry, no openings until Monday or Tuesday." Ugh. Of course there aren't. 
It probably wasn't in my favor that I didn't start calling until noon, since I slept-in from the previous night's activities.

I'm here to tell you that in most cases, persistance alway pays off.
On the 21st call, I got a maybe, that turned into a yes, that evolved into a brilliant accident. If not for all the other rejections, I never would have found this gem of a place. All the workers  were ridiculously sweet and genuine dog lovers. They baby talked both Callie and Sumo's faces off. I loved the atmosphere there; all the other daycare dogs were just running around the joint like a little doggy-pack family at their second home.Of course, I felt the need to explain and apologize for how terrible Sumo's hair looked, that it was actually an owner induced bad hair day instead of mange, but they made me feel like it happens all the time.
When I arrived to pick the dogs up, they too had been adopted into the pack and were as happy as could be, which put a smile on my face, especially when I got the bill!!! Smell ya later Petsmart, you've been out-priced, fools. I've never seen the puppies happier after leaving them at the groomers, and the receptionist encouraged me to bring them back for daycare some time because they were, "such a joy to have." 

They got summer cuts.....and were sporting ridiculously cute bandanna's!
Sumo, was feeling so happy, that he got the wrong kind of "happy", if you know what I mean. I spent the next hour trying to pry him off of Callie, and then something terrible happened. Pink-thing made an appearance. And then, pink thing's balls came out and stayed out. As in, everything got stuck. Out. We wrapped him in a towel and rushed to the vet......with poor horny Sumo thrusting his little hips hopelessly into the air the entire way.

But the vet's office closed 5 minutes before our arrival.......

Patrick banged on the glass door for a solid minute, scanning the inside for a moving body. When someone finally answered shaking their head "no", my heart sank.........
"But you don't understand! We NEED to see someone now! His ball's came out! HIS BALLS ARE OUT OF HIS SKIN!"
Luckily male-parts are universally recognized as emergencies and the Vet Tech let us come in. We later learned, those weren't actually his balls saying hello, but his penile glands.
A little lube later, everyone was relieved. Except poor Sumo. Despite our quick action, there was quite a bit of swelling, and I could only imagine, quite of bit of horny left.
There was only one thing left to do, but you'll have to wait for Part II.
Same place. Same time. 

Have any good at home grooming or penile disasters?


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