Saturday, December 17, 2011

Who WAS That Guy?!?!?!

      First thing's first. I discovered 8 words that may change your life: Blueberry English Muffin and Nutella with Chocolate Milk.
     Second, look at Sumo; one of my favorite living beings in the whole world. Ridiculous. He loves to play with his squeaky toys so much, that when I was on the phone with my mom, we could barely hear each other over the sound of his toy being murdered, and I couldn't type a single letter on the keyboard because the little furry booger kept nibbling my fingers and shoving his toy between the computer and I.  
Just looking at my complex taste I realize how random I am. Pottery Barn. Crate & Barrel. Target. Anthropology. Walmart. WOW.
     Remember how I said my brother is moving to the metroplex and may have to live stay with us for a while? Well I got that situation under wraps. Don't get me wrong; I love my brother and all, but I've tried, and there's only one person in the entire universe that I can spend every day with and not want to brawl. Guess who?
True dat sista from another mista. 
     So those people {my brother and mother} came to visit last Friday and, thanks to me (not to brag. . . . . . .), we found Dusteroo a fabulously affordable place to live in some prime real estate apartments close to Patrick and I, on the first stopI know. I know. Sometimes I even amaze myself. I refrain from describing the detailed bore on how many hours of sleep I lost over the apartment searches, but will mention it payed off in the end, not having to tour 10 complex's on a measly 3 hours of sleep. Oh night shift, don't you know I need my beauty rest? 
     And. . . . . . of course my family can't come visit without finding something wrong with my  house. Like dead squirrels in the front yard for instance. I didn't do it!!! We like to believe he lived a good life. He had plenty of trees for climbing and it was obvious he had plenty to eat.
R.I.P. little fellow
     Finding a new place to live and disposing of adorable deceased varmints is hard work, so after contracts were signed and bad checks were written (Just kidding. My mother, Sandy the Credit Nazi, would never let that happen.), we decided it was time to get some grub. My family is one of a kind, I'm sure; we can never agree on anything. . . or go more than 5 minutes without someone yelling at somebody.

Dusty: Where are we going; Carrabba's?

Sandy the Credit Nazi: No, I can't handle rich Italian.

Dusty: Jack in the Crack?

Sandy the Credit Nazi.: No. Something better than that.

Me: Let's just do drive-by's until we find something we like.

Dusty: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING! (He thinks EVERYTHING must be guided by GPS)

Me: I live here, just drive!!!

Sandy the Credit Nazi: Ya'll just pick somewhere; it will be easier. I don't care where we go.

Me: That's so cool of you mother. How about that place.....

Sandy the Credit Nazi: Naw.....

Me: How about this place....o0o0o0o0....or that Pub. I've been dying to try their fish and chips.

Sandy the Credit Nazi: Nope. Nooooooo......I don't feel like that.

Me: I'd kill for a panenei and soup right now from Corner Bakery.

Dusty: NO!!! I'd rather eat at Subway.

Me: Whatever turd face. CB is WWAAAYYY better than Subway ever dreamed of being. What about that place over there.....

Sandy the Credit Nazi: No......

Dusty: Oh, I know! Genghis! Lets go there.

Me: Okay!

Sandy the Credit Nazi: No, I don't want to go there.

****Seriously, does anyone see a pattern here? I actually shortened that conversation for your ready pleasure.****

Dusty and I: What the deuce, Mom?!?!? You said for us to choose because you don't care, and you are in the back seat saying "no" to every single suggestion made?!?!? (As we are pulling in the Genghis parking lot, because clearly 2 out of 3 is the best it's going to get, and operation guilt trip has just been initiated.)

Sandy the Credit Nazi: **Sigh. Gazing out of the window like she's in a dramatic 80's movie scene.**
     I'll try to spare you the humdrum particulars, like how she picked at her food and complained about invisible pork gristles in pure rebellion to our course selection, but will mention how delicious my 4 meat combo was, packed onto with tasty veggies and fried rice with a spicy garlic sauce.
Dusteroo and Mother entertaining our four legged children. 
     We soon returned home, and the puppies were showered with a ludicrous amount of undivided attention. Play. Play. Play. Patrick and I soaked up the feeling of having free hands during that precious time. It's fun to watch them play and be happy at the expense of someone else's time.
     Then things just got plain silly when Dusty tried to bench-press me, and got the tickles about something. He started laughing hysterically, cackling like an old woman. I can't explain how amusing it was. It was an extreme polar of his norm.
      After they left Patrick asked me, "Who was that guy that came here with your Mother?"

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