Wednesday, July 10, 2013

What If I Were A Good Witch?

I'm sure every husband has thought his wife was some form of a witch at one time or another. It's healthy for them to be a tad scared of us.....right? If I were a witch, I'm about 79% sure I'd be a good one, and if that was the case then the term, "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!" would take on a whole new meaning!
One day in the recent past......

Pat: If you could be a witch, would you?

Me: If it was the non-satanic kind.....If it meant I could be a good witch that still went to heaven one day, then yes. 

Pat: What would you use your powers on?

Me: Oh if you're ever getting on my nerves, but I still wanted you around, I could turn you into something sweet and cuddly that couldn't talk, like a puppy.

Pat: I don't want to be a puppy.

Me: ......

Pat: Now I'm scared.

Me: What? Puppies have the good life. They get to nap and play and cuddle and eat table scraps and run outside in an ordinary world that always seems like an adventure island and they don't have to work. 

Pat: Maybe, but those puppies don't know what it's like to be a human first. 

Me: Well what if you were a Warlock? 

Pat: I don't want to be a Warlock....

Me: But if you were, you could threaten to turn me into something worse if I turned you into a puppy .....but then again, if I knew that, I might not ever turn you back to your Warlock form and then you'd be a puppy forever and ever and that might get boring after a while......having a puppy for a husband.

Pat: Ya, I don't want you to be a witch. Sounds like you would overuse your powers.
A few days later while laying in bed.......

Pat: I really want some clementines right now. Too bad they're down stairs. Do you know where the remote is? There's a light on in the hallway, who's going to get up and turn it off?

Me: See, it would be handy for me to be a witch. I could just wiggle my nose and we'd have all of those things taken care of ASAP!!

P.S. Because I'm an awesome wife (and to make up for the fact that I never do laundry), I got up and made him hot tea and took care of all those things no one wanted to get out of bed for!

If you had supernatural powers, what would you do with them?


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