Monday, July 1, 2013

I've Done a Bad Good Thing

It's not in me to murder. 
I make all possible effort live in peace with anything before I take it's life, no matter how small (or in this case extremely large and plump for something so little, in the grand scheme of things, that was doing irrepressible damage to something dear to me). 
I really didn't want to, but the task became necessary.
My mom will probably hysterically cry herself to sleep replaying our telephone conversation.
Her, talking me through building up the courage to conquer and defeat, to kill in the name of living through the telephone, while educating me on the nature of the beast. Me, squealing and shrieking into the receiver as I poked and prodded from afar at the monster who ate my entire bell pepper plant as an appetizer and had moved on to my overgrown tomato plant as it's main course, all in a matter of 2 days.
At first I didn't quite know what I was looking for. A caterpillar, she said, green with horns. In my mind, I pictured something the size of a toothpick, at best, tiny and frail. But further into my mind, I had no confidence I'd find anything at all. Even deeper, I hoped to find nothing, so I wouldn't have to do what I did next.
When I spotted the funny shaped leaf that looked like it had a cocoon hanging from it, I moved in closer to take a better look......Then I jump back and screamed.
"Mom!! You didn't tell me how big they'd be!!! It's huge!! I got too close. Way too close. It's angry now. I don't want to touch it."
My mom ensured me there'd be company. And there was; company as long and fat as my index finger that reared half it's body back in a very aggressive and scary manner and towards the stick I was using to poke it. There were 4 total. I leaped back and screamed again.
"Those bastards are trying to pick a fight with me!!!" I whined. 
"It says here hornworms love tomato plants and peppers. They must be removed from the plant and killed, and then the plant must be sprayed with a safe insecticide. It says here, that they wont hurt humans." Mom's. They're such liars. She's been lying to me my whole life for the sake of encouragement and manipulation. 
"Seriously, I know you just made that last part up so I wouldn't be scared, " I called her bluff.
She was patient, though, ignoring all her highly important bank work while I went inside to get the largest, longest, sharpest knife I could find and eventually work up the valor to break the cleverly camouflaged plant killers free from my precious, and slice each one of them into thirds (decapitating both ends, just to make sure I completed my mission).
Don't get me wrong, I hate everything about watching those little devil horned gluttons die, but more importantly, it was their fault. They didn't want to share, therefore I could no longer be so generous.
Here's to hoping my half eaten tomato plant will live and being thankful for it's surviving neighbors!
And I guess I'm a weeny.
Did I mention it was so dreadfully hot and humid outside that I could barely concentrate through the sweat dripping in my eyes and rolling down my legs? Geez. Thank goodness a "cold front" came through to drop the temperatures back down into the 90's!!!

Have you ever come face to face with one of these rascals? How do you feel about killing insects or rodents?


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