Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Fly Trapped and Cattle Trained

When I grabbed by fanny pack to run out the door as not to be late, the pups thought it was time for a walk and I couldn't turn down their sweet eager faces......CRAP.
When I got stuck in traffic on the way to my brother's house and knew he'd be watching the clock........SHOOT.
When our last chance of getting on the tollway became non-exsistant due to an entrance closure, meaning we'd have to go through time burning hoops in morning traffic.......DANG.
When my peer pressuring brother basically forced me to go to straight from a right-turn-only-lane and I get pulled over immediately by a train of cops handing out tickets to 7 other vehicles who just did the exact same thing......SONuvaBITCH!
What's worse is knowing all those cops were just meeting their end of the month quotas (that they pretend to not have) by basically hanging a fly trap.
We drove straight out of the fly trap, and directly into Six Flags.
Amusement parks.....where humans actually pay money to be cattle trained and have their brains jumbled like lab rats. 
We started the day off pretty strong, hitting all the big rides right off the bat. 
Now that the Texas Giant has been redone, it's officially my favorite ride in the park, besides the pirate ship that makes me squeak out a shrieky giggle every time it sways because my stomach does a flip-dy-do.

The rides actually never "scare" me; the feeling is more like an elevated thrill. 
The only time I was scared was when one of the ride attendants came up from behind me to check my safety belt and took me completely off guard. I slapped him; really...I did. His coworker on the microphone made silly noises every time the ship passed through the bottom, which sounded hallarious. We literally laughed the entire ride. 
As much as I love rides, my body just can't handle the all the centrifugal force like it used to. 
After lunch, I was ready to take it easy. I got Dusty to ride a few "sissy" rides with me, but no matter how much coaxing, couldn't manage to get him on the carousel.
I, apparently, need to improve my stallion picking skills. I should have known the sweet looking pink horse would be a lazy ass.  
I jealously watched all the other horses go up and down, while mine just stood static. In efforts to entertain myself somehow, every time Pinky and me made a pass to the front, I'd jump up and down and wave at Dusty like he couldn't see me. 
All the very tall rides that would have posed for a nice change, like Superman or the new swings on the tallest tower in Arlington, were closed due to high winds. Although that was a bummer, I wouldn't have exchanged the nice feeling wind for anything. 
What I would have exchanged for anything was my poor decision to ride in the Tea Cup with my brother. For whatever reason, this was his favorite ride of the day. He spun us in circles so fast I'm sure it violated safety laws. I couldn't see straight or stand up for numerous minutes after it was over, and my head/stomach never felt the same. 
Ruined after the tea cups, I had to surrender to my body's warning signs.
I guess I'm getting older, but considering we were surrounded by little kids and high school students, I can still hang pretty well. 

Do you like amusement parks? What's your favorite kind of ride?


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