Thursday, November 10, 2011

Drama Eve: Move Part 1

     I don't have to ask if you've missed me. I know you have. It's okay to be honest with yourself. I missed you too. I'd way rather have my fingers tapping away on the keys about my random thoughtful life gibberish and reading about everyone else's than being completely consumed by the last week's events.

     It ONLY took me an entire week, 4 un-returned calls, 3 un-returned texts, and one very angry voice-message to contact the landlord's Realtor to get everything in line for this move-in. I could barely schedule the electricity turn-on for the day of move-in. Here's how it went down:

Last Tuesday (aka My Birthday Eve): I got off work at 7am and took many trips back and forth, from new house to old apartment, moving things (my husband refers to those things as "crap").
My sweet notes; I couldn't wait until Wednesday!
     The husband calls me sometime during the day and asks where I plan to be at 0930 the next morning. I tell him, "moving", and he requested that I be at the apartment for a special birthday delivery. He then further explained it wasn't flowers this time, and he had never sent this kind of delivery before. I assumed it was a sing-a-long-telegram and continued to push through my day. I reminded him not to buy me anything, since I had already recently purchased things I wanted that I lacked patience for (AKA everything).
Looks can be deceiving!
     I went for about 30 hours without sleep, a necessary sacrifice for the move to comply with my timeline standards. After unloading everything, I noticed the house is way dirtier than I had previously thought, so I started 4 hour cleaning spree. While I was cleaning I noticed there was NO hot water. I called the landlord to let him know and he said, "Oh. It may actually be gas." What do you mean MAY BE GAS?!?!?! Didn't anyone think to tell me this before I moved in? Didn't anyone think to tell me this when I called for a week to contact some one to ask about all the utilities and getting them set up on time?!?!?! DIDN'T ANYONE THINK AT ALL?
Callie was feeling uneasy about the move. 
     Patrick took me to dinner that night and we pigged out over enough food for an army of 6 while I drank a huge margarita. The margarita then lead to conversation of my ideal birthday present:
Don't let this picture fool you. This was only part of Patrick's meal, and completely omits mine!

Me: Do you know what would be the best, most absolute ideal birthday present in the world? (Sweet face.)

Patrick: What?

Me: If you would stay home with me tomorrow so I could spend time with you. . . . . . .and you could also help me move all this "crap" in a more timely manner.

Patrick: Babe, you know I'd love to, but I can't do that.

Me: Pretty please with sugar on top? You NEVER take off work, and you NEVER call in sick. What about mental health days? You NEED a mental health day. Tell them your wife will have a nervous breakdown if you go to work. I know Wednesday is your busiest day of the week, but. . . .  . .but. . . .  . .(thinking of a good excuse for this one). . . . . but. . . .

Patrick: Hunny, I love spending time with you, but I just can't tomorrow.

Me: (On the verge of throwing a tantrum big enough to put a terrible 2's toddler to shame) You've already paid for these days!! It's the end of the year. You will just lose them! And then what? Call in sick; sick of moving, sick of your wife complaining, sick of . . . . . .

*****this is where the semi-long lecturing tantrum occurred*****

Patrick: You are ridiculous. You know that? I can't believe it. (Shaking his head in defeat and disbelief.)

Me: Huh? Because I love my husband and want to spend extra time with him, or because I want you to not go to work to intern work by moving all day instead?

Patrick: You always do this; you just couldn't let it go. I hope you're happy. You ruined your surprise.

Me: (Light bulbs and epiphanies, followed by silly smiles.) I did? Was my delivery tomorrow. . . you?

Patrick: (Nods head and makes frowny face) I am so mad at you right now. I was going to go to work for 1 hr, then go home and get you breakfast and deliver it to you.

Me: It's not ruined, I'm so happy! (Ecstatically jumping up and down within the limits of the booth seat.) I get exactly what I wanted for my birthday!!!!!!. . . . . . . . Why did you break down and tell me?

Patrick: 'Cause I knew you were getting so worked up over this that you were going to be upset with me for not calling in sick, and I don't want you to be upset. It's your birthday week.

Me: You're the best husband ever. (Then my margarita and I seduced him.)

Do you celebrate your entering this world for more than one day? Do you use your sick days??

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