Like Always, I'm Going to be Honest.....

As a very independent person, used to being on my own schedule, becoming a Mom has in certain ways been quite the adjustment. There are days that are just plain hard. I feel guilty for even thinking that, knowing how "easy" I have it compared to some people out there (having an amazing husband helps emmensely). Some mornings it's extremely difficult to drag myself out of bed at 7am, especially being a night-shifter.......and a born sleeper. For years of my adulthood leading up until I actually gave birth, I openly admitted to being terrified of the personal sacrifices accompanied with parenthood, particularly the loss of sleep part. But with all that being said, none of it out weighs the renown joy and unconditional love associated with being some one's Mother.

It's an undescribable feeling when you wake up one morning, walk into the living room, and your baby looks at you smiling, and immediately starts crawling (for the first time) across the once vast space of floor between you, closing in on the gap of distance until there's nothing left to do but cuddle. It's a considerable reward to be actively seeked after, making the several months of being the one putting forth all the effort totally worth it.

That moment happened 8 weeks ago, but in so many ways feels like yesterday.

At first Dillon's crawl was Clydesdale-like, sloppy and slow. I jokingly referred to him as my baby elephant. You could hear him coming from a mile away, stomping with utter might on all fours, almost vibrating the floor. Two weeks into crawling from one toy to another, to the base of our legs, his world expanded as did his endurance, and he started to discover the living room was actually connected to a house, composed of many other rooms, filled with loads of interesting gadgets, like a noise making piano and creaky puppy crates and a pantry door packed with crinkly packages and kitchen cabinets hiding clanky gems.

Cruising and crawling happened almost simultaneously; virtually nothing was off limits. The boy was pushing anything and everything from point A to point B with a mission! His DOC Band was starting to come in a great deal of handy, easily doubling in purpose as a barrier between his noggin' and any obstacle he accidentally bumped or fell into. Sure, we still had our ouchies, like the time he crawled to see me in the kitchen, used the frig to stand up, and reached out to grab my leg so he could be picked up (all AT LEAST an hourly ritual), only this time I was moving quickly and before either one of us could comprehend what was happening, his face directly met the hard uninviting tile floor. Screams and tears flooded the air, met with intense guilt on by behalf for lacking the intuition of expecting him to reach for me. My first instinct after swooping him up was to check and make sure his only 2 teeth were still intact; they were. Whew, that was a close one!

Things slowed down for almost an entire month when our Sweetness seemed to be even more cuddly than normal, accompanied by a great deal of fussing. His first ever ear infection would prove to be a doosy and require not one, but two rounds of gut wrenching antibiotics to conquer. It was a rough patch, for sure, and everyone faced the consequences. Our hearts were ached for our little boy, who is always very lovie (one of my favorite qualities about him), but for this stretch way more love was in order.

Eventually routines got back to "normal", if there ever really is a "normal" with a constantly changing baby. Growing like a champ, as evidenced by his already snug sized-18-month wardrobe that we thought would last him through the summer (it's not even officially summer yet, according to the calendar), a stellar report from his DOC Band appointment that his head was filling out to perfection, and a decreased interest in milk with an increased interest in anything he can pick up to eat (forget spoon-feeding; he's been refusing to be fed with a spoon for 2 months now), and back to babbling like a teenager, our baby took his first witnessed unassisted steps 1 week ago after spending an entire hour sprinting around the living room behind his walker and crying every time he came across a road block. He wanted to GO!

On May 11th, at 10.8 months old, while being completely engulfed in the process of devouring some sauce soaked pizza crust, Dillon walked from one side of the recliner to the other, ALL BY HIMSELF. He had no idea. The only thing on that boy's mind was pizza. A few minutes later, still completely distracted, he walked from the recliner to his toy cabinet. A half hour later, when Patrick got home, he did it again, this time with nothing but his new found confidence to fuel him forward. And then again in the kitchen.

There's something tremendously satisfying about watching your mini gain wisdom through daily experiments and eventually the confidence to tackle a new skill. He makes the ordinary things in life feel exciting. He fills the once dull moments with giggles, hugs, big open mouthed slobbery kisses, and occasionally an accidental (I hope) punch in the face. Besides crafting, working out, sleeping in, and cooking, whatever did I used to do all day without that little butterball full of cuteness?

7.5 months: Ahhhh! He's Almost on the Move!

(The following post was written in the past, and never posted because our computer has been on the fritz and therefore my posts are naked of pictures. I'm giving up and posting everything anyway. So, sorry the the nakedness!!!!)

I've never wanted to laugh and cry in the same day as many times a week as I do now. We start off having great mornings full of milestones and activities and tickles and giggles and sunlight. Then afternoon hits and something changes.
Dillon is ready to be on the move. He's been rocking on all fours for a few weeks now, but can't figure out how to crawl; he's been fixated with standing for sometime. We literally have to forcefully fold him in half to get him to sit down, and this week he realized he could pull himself into standing position. The next day he did about 1 million squats while he played, up and down and up and down. Two mornings later, he crunched himself into sitting position from laying down, then continued to do it over and over again until he couldn't do it anymore. Two days later, he finally figured out how to push himself up into sitting position from his tummy.
He's dropped naps. We're down to one successful nap a day (with resistance), but we always try for two. Between his constant workouts, and cutting another tooth, I think he's so exhausted by the time afternoon hits, he's just lost all coping mechanisms and can do nothing but cry.
He puts his arms up in the air and waves his hands around to be picked up, being sure he catches someone's attention. Most days, he wants to be held about 90% of the time. I LOVE holding him, but sometimes he feels sooooo heavy or I need an extra hand to do something, so I have to put him down, and thus begins the fit throwing......ie throwing himself onto the floor, stomping his heels so hard he bounces, and/or screaming like someone has cut his pinky toe off with a dull spoon. This is a new kind of cry he's discovered; in the past he usually picked between fussing or yelling. I know one day soon he wont want me to hold him anymore. Just the other day I had him in the Ergo Baby carrier, but he decided he was much happier riding in the shopping cart. Again, it was a moment that made me happy and sad at the same time.

Here are a few of Dillon's milestones/personality traits blossoming this month:

1. When he's concentrating really hard on something he breathes really fast and hard through his nose. It's such a cute sound.
2. We started giving him baths the big boy way in the regular bath tub with toys and all, since he was starting to look like a beached whale in its infant tub.
3. Babbling is getting REAL. He babbles away and ends it all with, "Gah!", which I follow with, "Can you say Momma?" And he just smiles this adorably bashful smile. The yelling game is a house hold favorite. He yells, then we yell, then he yells, then we yell. It's gone on for as long as 10 minutes before!
4. He loves being thrown in the air, riding in big boy swings, playing "boo", and twirling really fast in circles while being held......anything that includes the element of surprise.
 5. When I sit in the rocking chair in his room and give him a bottle, he likes to very seriously put his hand on my face and play with my chin, nudging my face to go back and forth, away and towards him. He does this over and over until I giggle, then he runs his fingers over my lips and I nibble on them, and he laughs about that.
6. He wants to explore absolutely everything, which is making it almost impossible to pump during the day with him. Between fighting him over pulling the tubing apart so he can chew on it, or saving my pump from being dragged onto the floor, and trying to keep him from falling while he dives to reach other things of interest, I'm getting closer and closer to calling it quits.
7. The boy is finally starting to eat real food. He's explored carrots, green beans, bananas, apples, and oatmeal so far (things I would admit to the pediatrician). He also loves vanilla ice cream, any type of left over bone, pizza crust, multigrain chips, and sugar cookies (things I would never admit to the pediatrician). I've even given him pieces of clementines, resulting in priceless sour faces. He doesn't much care for sweet potato or avocado yet, but does enjoy practicing to drink from my cup (insert part where I go get a new drink afterwards, because I can't bring myself to drink all the backwash).
8. He's still charming the strangers.
9. Three words: 18 month clothing!!! He's been in 12 month clothing since he was 5 months old, so at least we got a little bit of use out of that wardrobe.......I can't believe how fast this boy is growing. 

6 Months: I don't THINK he hit his head

(The following post was written in the past, and never posted because our computer has been on the fritz and therefore my posts are naked of pictures. I'm giving up and posting everything anyway. So, sorry the the nakedness!!!!)

To follow up from last month, figuring out how to roll is a thing of the distant past. This boy flops from front to back in the blink of an eye, destroys his play mat in the process, and prefers to slowly migrate around the living room by the rolling method. Our new challenge keeping him from dying when he dives for whatever he wants and then soothing by means of distraction method because he's pissed and surprised when he can't crawl to get to what he was diving for. He's constantly getting frustrated for not being as mobile as he thinks he is.
One night, I was leaving for work and Patrick put Dillon in his bouncy chair for a moment to walk me out to the car. As I was waiting for the first light in our neighborhood to turn green, Patrick called me.
"No need to be alarmed," he started, "but I just thought I should let you know Dillon wasn't in his bouncy chair when I got back in the house."
"Where was he? On the FLOOR??!"
"Yes, but I don't think he hit his head."
"Was he crying?" I asked, hoping the answer was no.
"Well yeah, but it was like a I didn't want you to leave me cry, not like a I'm hurt cry."
"And so it starts. Time to put away the infant stuff."

Here are a few of Dillon's milestones/personality traits blossoming this month:

1. He sitting up on is own with ease and now that he's sitting, all he wants to do is stand.
2. He figured out he can actually jump in the jumparoo and now is an unstoppable bouncer.
3. I'm trying to teach him the sign language for milk, and although I think he could care less, he knows exactly what his bottle is; he pinches the tip of bottle by the nipple, with his mouth wide open as if he was a roaring lion, diving into the bottle head first and guides the nipple into his mouth.
3. He does nothing half ass. It's all the way, like when he gives me kisses by devouring my face.
4. He loves it when you "talk mean to him", will laugh for days about it, giggles to pieces when being tickled, and even the anticipation of being tickled will get him going.
5. He reaches out to be picked up.
6. He still knows no strangers, evidenced by being the weirdo that loved Santa.
7. He's constantly experimenting with new sounds or facial expressions that he'll do over and over again for days and then never do them again. He went through a blowing bubbles of spit by vibrating his lips phase that was just as hilarious as it was messy.
8. I hate putting socks on him because it's like taking away one of his favorite pass time toys, his toes.
9. Bath time has moved from his infant bath tub on top of the kitchen counter (to save our backs), to his infant bath tub inside the regular bath time (to save everything in the kitchen from being soaking wet from all the splashing and playing).
10. He has his very first tooth!!! Bottom left and very sharp. My little vampire. 

5 Months: Big Fat Welcome

(The following post was written in the past, and never posted because our computer has been on the fritz and therefore my posts are naked of pictures. I'm giving up and posting everything anyway. So, sorry the the nakedness!!!!)

Leave it to our boy to learn how to roll over.....backwards. It's no secret he HATES tummy time, so when the little Houdini first rolled over, he did it when I couldn't see him, from back to tummy. Now, he's done it a million times, and has still managed to always get the job done when I'm not looking, hinting at his accomplishment by fussing about not being able to roll off of his tummy. I always give him a few minutes of begging before I swoop in and save him (by rolling him back into supine position, talking him through how to do it himself), hoping he'll figure out how to get the job done one of these times, especially since this new trick of mobility has seemed to put a damper on his sleeping habits (he needs us to "save" him in the middle of the night and every morning).

Here are a few of Dillon's milestones/personality traits blossoming this month:

1. I introduced some food for the first time. He refuses to eat from a spoon for me, but will apparently nibble on a few bites from his sitter and his Nanny.
2. He thinks the puppies are really funny. He just stares at them and giggles.

Other than that, I don't remember what else was happening at 5 months, since time seems like one big blur, and I didn't attempt to finish this post until 1.5 months after writing the first paragraph!!! Big fat welcome to mommyhood, right?!?  

The End of a Decade

(The following post was written in the past, and never posted because our computer has been on the fritz and therefore my posts are naked of pictures. I'm giving up and posting everything anyway. So, sorry the the nakedness!!!!)

The second decade of my life officially ended, and boy oh boy was it a good one!

• I enjoyed my first alcoholic beverage without breaking the law......with many more to follow.
• I embarked on my journey as a Registered Nurse, and even traveled as one for a whole year, just like I'd always dreamed of doing.
• I learned how to play the guitar and wrote my first song (who knew it'd be the fist of many?).
• I found the love of my life and married him.
• I got to play in an ocean other than the Gulf for the first time......on more than one occasion!
• Patrick and I bought and sold our first home.
• I ran a couple of half marathons, an accomplishment I never thought my janky knees would allow.
• I survived my first backpacking trip in the mountains, rode my bike to the Pacific ocean (from home) several times, learned how to use public transportation, camped in a tent, and enjoyed countless hikes......all with my best friend with benefits by my side. 
• I went to a jillion amazing concerts. 
• I grew and gave birth to the most beautiful baby in the world.
• I'm sure there's more that I just can't remember....hence the reason I try to write about my life for the lines blur too much!

It's going to be difficult, but I shall now set forth to make my third decade even better..........I'll just have to get creative.

In the mean time, we spent an entire week celebrating. Every day, Patrick surprised me by planting a thoughtful card in different places of the house where he knew I'd stumble upon it, which always put a giant grin on my face. As if that wasn't special enough treatment, I came home from work in the morning to him making me a hot breakfast, just what the doctor ordered after a long shift. He cooked me steak/eggs over easy/hashbrowns one night for dinner, and he risked facing the wrath of keeping Dillon up past his bedtime in order to bring Corner Bakery (one of my favorite work time treats that he's been surprising me with for years) to my work one night. On Saturday he sacrificed going to the Baylor homecoming game festivities to arrange for us a day of fun, riding Segways in downtown Dallas (because we enjoyed it so much last year), while my Mom and Memma watched Dillon (a.k.a. tickled him for 2 days straight), slaved away in the kitchen to make me homemade sushi for dinner, and on my actual birthday he amazingly managed to gather my friends for a jubilee at Cheesecake Factory!

Since the actual day fell on the end of daylight savings time, we (everyone at the table, because we are all new at this parenting thing) learned a new vital life lesson. Even though gaining an extra hour feels like a national holiday, small children's bodies still cling to their established circadian rhythm.......meaning you, as a parent, will NOT actually get an extra hour of sleep as you have in the past, and when the next evening comes to a reality, you may know it's only 6:00 pm, but your baby still thinks it's 7:00 pm (and time for bed), therefore going out to eat for dinner at 5:30 pm with a large group of people in a noisy restaurant might not be as great of an idea as you originally thought. Live and learn. 

Our table was absolute pure chaos, but one of fellowship and love and joy........and the cutest little boys in the city.

Now.....to unwind from all the wonderful celebrating, I have a massage and pedicure to redeem with a couple of new scarfs to keep my neck warm on the way there, some suckers to keep my sweet tooth occupied, a little herbal scented lotion to keep my hands in tip-top condition, and caffeine credit to help me stay awake long enough to enjoy it all!  Oh yes....and it won't be long before I'm breaking in my new steamer and Ninja to make baby-food. 

I am blessed. 

Hello? Was it me you were looking for?

You may have been wondering where I am.......... Why I have't written in so long........... How I could just leave you hanging like that......... When I may come back, if ever.............

Y'all, I have a broken computer, a busy 6.5 month old, and am in the process of packing up the townhouse we've been renting for the last 26 months!!! That's right, it's crazy times around the Carruth household!

Buying a house is consuming in it's own right and because of it, try as we might, Patrick and I had a diffucult time getting into the holiday spirit, but I wasn't going to let piles of paper work, too many emails and phone calls to count, or boxes stacked to the ceiling get in the way of putting up a Christmas tree. What else would I use as the backdrop to my baby's naked butt if I didn't have a beautiful Christmas tree?!?!.......Besides, it's not like I even had the string the lights (Shout out to the saint who invented pre-lit trees!). 

Our hearts have been strung out on a line of nail biting tension since the first week in December, hoping all the contracts played out just perfect with our first real family home and although we've been bumped and bruised along the way, we should ink the final closing signatures Janurary 14, then a whole new kind of chaos can commence! I promise I haven't done anything too extremely exciting in the last couple of months, minus my endeaver with eating a fresh pomegrante for the very first time. I dearly miss writing on a regular basis......if only I had a way of transposing all the pages upon pages I write in my head into the computer without any extra effort on my part.

I promise I'll be back for real sometime soon, realitive speaking. Untilt then, I'm sure you'll find a way to live without knowing my every thought; you wont be happy about it (I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile), but you'll find a way.

P.S. You're welcome, for getting that song in your head. I hope it stays there all day.