Greased Monkey

Patrick: When's the last time you washed your hair? It looks like it's been a month.

Me: Ugh....it's a stupid story. 

I can understand why there are a lot of people in this world too scared to get a professional massage. There are so many nerve racking questions that can travel through one's mind about such situations........

Underwear or no underwear?

What if I need to fart and I get so relaxed I actually do?

It feels a little breezy, is my crack showing? Is that gross or inappropriate?

What if I fall asleep and leave a puddle of drool on the floor or start snoring?

Conversation or no conversation?

What if I have a zit on my back??? Who wants to massage a zit?

All legit concerns, but what one should never have to fear during a massage, is getting their head rubbed with  fingers covered in oil or lotion or whatever it is they use, without permission, to the point of looking like a greased monkey when leaving their appointment.


What if I had an meeting or dinner scheduled after the massage?
What if I had to go to work?
What if I needed to go to the grocery store?

I'm not going to lie. Having my head rubbed felt nice, but what choice did I have but to let her continue? It was far too late to stop her after she already tainted my hair. It's not like I can throw mine in a tight pony tail and pass it for "sleek". 

All I'm saying is..........

I guess I'm a little vain sometimes. 

Have you ever been in a questionable situation while getting a massage? Has a massage therapist ever rubbed lotion in your hair without asking if it was okay first?