I couldn't resist interrupting our vacation-picture-stream with an exciting announcement.....So here goes:
It doesn't even make sense, really.
After 14 months of suspicion to every detail, I put a halt to all hopeful wishes and decided to ride the coaster of life carefree, expectation free.
Of course I carried a supply of feminine products with me everywhere for 2 weeks, waiting for the usually late and habitually untimely arrival of dear Aunt Flow. But not only did the cramps not subside, one day my upper lady parts became so hyper-sensitive, I began to develop a hatred for every shirt I owned.
It was only then, I started counting the days since Auntie's last visit. When the hell is she going to stop torturing me and just come already??
6 weeks?!?!?
I counted back over the past year, three times that night, to make ensure she hadn't disappeared for quite that long in the past.
July 20, a Friday morning, I got off work a little early, killed time at J's Donuts until the local CVS unlocked their doors, and preceded to buy one of the most expensive tests they had stocked...choosing the name brand that offered the $2 off coupon, of course. If this was going to be the day, it was going to be confirmed with one of those extra special overpriced digital sticks....not one of those basic ghetto generic of the generic kinds I usually bought at the dollar store that didn't even have a real place to pee on.
I surprised Patrick with a Monster and a variety of Kolaches to start his work day off on a great foot, and then squeezed my eyes tight. I promised myself I would have patience, and wait until I awoke for the day to stream on that holy stick (apparently according to the manufacturer, not only holy, but also made of gold).
11:30 am.
I didn't make it long. The suspense was as tight as my bladder, which is completely uncharacteristic of me on both accounts.
11:32 am.
Hot diggity dog. I am in complete shock.
11:34 am.
Taking picture of the test. Maybe it will feel real soon.
11:36 am.
Uploading the picture and sending it to Walgreens for immediate development.
Sleeping was out of the question; my brain was going a million miles per hour, and I thought I might spontaneously combust if I didn't tell Patrick soon. But I knew I should take the time to make this moment extra special. By the time I weighed in at Weight Watchers, and brushed off the lady's look of healthy-eating-failure when she documented my weight gain in a single week of 3 pounds (damn you water weight, damn you), I had an idea. I ran my errands, got everything set up at home, and tried once again to squeeze my eyelids tight to make the time pass.
5:00 pm.
I'm all ready for work. Lunch packed. Surprise set and ready.
5:20 pm.
That was the longest 20 minutes of my life. Still starring out the window, waiting for Patrick's arrival home.
5:25 pm.
Calling Patrick to tell him he's 5 minutes late! (Doesn't he know I am bursting at the seams???) I give him the excuse that the puppies are waiting on him, and I wanted to give him a kiss before I leave for work. (Not a surprise he's at Wal-mart getting supplies to cook for the weekend on the smoker Ken brought him the day before. Men and their priorities.)
When he finally made his appearance, I sneakily pressed record on the not-so-hidden-camera I knew he wouldn't notice, and let the scene unfold in complete utter disbelief that the whole thing was happening.
It's hard believing in miracles, especially when you've waited for a particular one on pins and needles for what feels like a short eternity; Patrick wasn't exactly quick to give in.
But when the information finally hit him, he floated to the kitchen, took me in his arms, and embraced me (us) with such overflowing love, it was hard for either of us to speak without quivering voices.
The entire day could be described by three words:
Exciting. Terrifying. And mostly, surreal.
So, with that being said.......
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!
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