Let's Get Real: Panty Talk

I like to keep it real. It keeps things on an even keel for relativeness. So with that being said, I'm going to get serious. Right now. You know how guys like to keep their underwear until the once medium size elastic band looks like it was originally created to be a draw string for an extra large man, and the inseam down the crack is frayed or ripped apart (probably deteriorated threads from too many farts)......and you start to worry if you throw them in the dryer one more time they may disintegrate? Well I've always thought...

In What Kind of Universe???

I said these exact words to my coworker during our last rounds of the morning, "I'm really craving pizza and chocolate milk." "That sounds gross." "It sounds amazing, and that's what I want!" And it's exactly what I got. Where does a girl get exactly what she wants.....the very essence of what she craves, at the precise moment she wants it, without ever even having to ask?? Oh yes. That would be in my universe. The one where I'm married to my dream man, who is not only ridiculously good looking, but also so intuitive he can practically can read my mind. The one who woke up at 6:30 am on...

Liar Liar, Pants on Fire

Ever lie about something, or stretch the truth, to make yourself look a little better? It's okay; Mother Theressa probably couldn't even get through life without doing it a few times.  I told a little lie the other day about something so stupid. I don't know why I just couldn't tell the truth initially, but I fessed up shortly after. No harm done. Kayla Evans-Carruth  If a bag of tortillas technically expired in Feb, but they have no mold on them because they were kept in the frig....are they still...

Buried Deep......And I Don't Care!

Like "Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care," except for....who would care if Jimmy cracked corn anyway? That song should be about something we would actually care about. Like....."Jimmy cut cheese and I don't care," because  it would be more significant a statement if I didn't care someone just farted next to me. It'd have to mean I loved them a lot. I've got a strange feeling I'm about to ramble a bit. Try to follow as I spiral, a randomized thought process that women do that links continuous thoughts together....... I gave up trying to resist...

Maybe I Jumped the Gun......A Little....

Remember those barefoot shoes I was totally Gung Ho about? Well I returned them. I decided I didn't have enough patience for them as of yet.......not to mention my knee had started hurting again, and I didn't want to risk it just being a coincidence. But I'm so glad I went with my gut, because I found the most amazing shoes on the planet.  Brooks Pure Connect. It's the most minimalist transition shoe of the line, offering the benefits of minimalist running, but providing more cushion than the barefoot shoe.  And they're pretty! I've...

The Best Surprise

"Are you ready for tonight? Stay calm, be friendly. Remember?" That's what Patrick said to me before we walked into the Gexa Pavillion. To know why, you'd have to know a few things about our history, one being this story. I'd been counting down until this Saturday for a month. Patrick told me he had a surprise, and wasn't handing out any hints. We'd already started counting down the days to this concert a couple of months before, when we purchased the tickets. We'd been waiting two years to go again. Two years too long. We poached the perfect...

The Oopsie I'll NEVER Live Down

(Only at a DMB concert could you record the very end of a song and it be 4 minutes long. Listen, and you can hear our mouth instruments.) Present: Patrick asked me from the kitchen bar window, peering over the counter at me as I was ripping into my Whataburger double meat patty-melt like I hadn't eaten in days, "What did you think was more fun? Tonight, or the Greek Theater?" "That's a trick question, sir. They are both my favorites for different reasons." "I agree." Flash Back: Being a Warehouse member as it's perks....

Lucky, All the Way Around

We celebrated Mother's day twice. One with Patrick's side, over chips and salsa, margaritas, and sopapias. The Chuy's Mexican food was way better tasting than my hair looked. I don't know what happened to it. I swear I washed it only hours earlier; it wasn't even raining outside or anything....it's a good think I had plenty of wigs to wear later that night to disguise it.  The other with my side, over fresh deep fried catfish, french fries, spicy beans, and homemade peach cobbler with just churned vanilla ice-cream.  I'd...

Flowers Galore......

I spent Friday night and Saturday day exercising my artistic side.  I know two things about flowers; they're pretty, and they need water. But for some reason, Vickie trusts me to make arrangements for her on big holidays.  The short cubes were a big hit this year. I love making several arrangements of similar style, because it fosters my creativity to make each one unique. We did everything out back with the shop opened up, since the weather was so nice and cool, for a change. Business was booming, as usual, so we had...